tada

o tadhana ako'y wag paglaruan

sa iyong mga kuko'y wala akong kalaban laban

kaiisip mapapraning, wala namang magagawa

kapag ikaw ay nakipagkasundo na kay bathala.

mga pagkakataon sa aki'y wag naman ipagkait

lubosin ang unos, ang pait ay masapit

hayaan mong akitin naman ako ng liwanag

biyayaan ng saya, wakasan ang siglo ng sakuna.

blata blata

Ako ay isang ipis

Naghahanap ng pulot gata

Tinatawag niyo itong basura

Sa aking tiyan ito’y langit na.

Ngunit..

Ako’y kinamumuhian

Tanong ko lamang ay bakit

Kinatatakutan, pinandidirian

Meron ba akong nagawa na para sa iyo’y mali?

Sabi mo, inaatake ko kayo

Ngunit ikaw itong may dalang armas

Naglalakad lang naman ako, naghahanap ng ginto

Ikaw kaya itong habulin ko ng tsinelas?

Gusto ko lang ng tahimik na buhay

Kumain ng mga bagay na hindi mabuti sa’yo

Iyon lang naman ang silbi ko sa buhay

Mamasamain mo pa ba ito?

Kung ang naiwang pagkain sa’yong lapag

Ay aking ginawang hapunan

Huwag magalit, ako’y patawarin

Ito pala’y di katanggap-tanggap, ‘di ko naman alam.

O kaya sa umaga’y natagpuan

Sa mga platong kagabi’y ginamit

Bago uinit ang ulo’y iyo munang isipin

Bakit nga ba hindi nailigpit?

Akala ko kasi’y naniimbita ka

Dahil hindi mo nilinis ang iyong paligid

Kaya gano’n na lang ang gulat ko

Ng narinig ko ang pang-ispray, tsiik tsiik tsiik.

Ayaw ko naman talaga maging pagala-gala

Nagtatago rin sa publiko

Ngunit kung ikaw naman ay makalat

Masisisi mo ba ako?

At kapag ako ay nawala

Tsaka lang malalaman mo

Na dadami ang organismong

Maghahasik ng methane sa mundo.

At ako’y iyong maaalala

Kapag iyon na nga ang nangyari

Dahil mas makasasama iyon sa iyong kalusugan

Que sa ‘pag may lumilipad na kagaya kong pangit.

pag-uwi

Tatlong ticket sa bus at anim, pitong oras

Para lang sabay tayong kumain ng lugaw

Pan de sal

Barbecue, mango juice, maanghang na noodles, at kape.

Tatlong ticket sa bus at anim, pitong oras

Isang trike, konting takbo, isang jeep, ilang minuto

Para lang ikaw ay malambing

Kita'y makasama, saglit na sandali.

Tatlong ticket sa bus at anim, pitong oras

Isang yakap

Isang gabi

Isang ngiti kahit luha ay nangingilid.

Isang ticket sa bus wala pang bente kuwatro oras makalipas

ang masarap kainin ngayon ay

bukas.

sumpang ika'y manatiling aking iniibig, paninindigan

hanggang sa gatilyo ng langit ay kusang pumitik

* * *

pagsasamang ito'y mistulang punyal sa dibdib

sa hanay ng langit, tila 'di naakit

ating ipagpatuloy, maraming masisidhi

kung wakasan nama'y, lubos ang pighati

ano ba'ng gagawin, di ko na rin alam

upang maging matiwasay ating samahan

kung sa'ting dalawa lang ay wala namang problema

ngunit kumplikado ang sitwasyon, at meron pang iba

ang mga tunay na kahulugan ng pag-ibig, panalangin ko'y maging atin

nagsusumamo ako, nawa'y iyong naririnig

pagmamahalan ito at hindi naman digmaan

wala tayong dahilan upang matakot masaktan

ako'y sa iyo, wala ng makaaagaw pa

lumuluha man ngayon, may wakas rin ang pagdurusa

ano man ang mangyari ipagtatanggol kita

sasapit rin ang araw, malaya na kitang makakapiling sinta

at manghaharana ang kwerdas ng langit

sa'ting pagmamahalan, sila'y magbubunyi

sabi nga ni florante, lahat ay hahamakin

iyon ay gagawin hanggang makamtan ang tamis.

sagada lunch

Gutom sa’yo

Sayo’y naaakit

‘Di inaasahang ganito

Mararanasang pananabik

Makahingal man ang daan

Ito’y tatahakin

Maamoy ka lamang

Dumampi sa’kin sandali

Ang unang sulyap

Maalala ko’y nag-aalangan pang tumikim

Pagkadaplis mo sa aking dila ko’y, “Ito ba ay langit?”.

Ako’y patawarin niyo, Bantay, Batik

Mga mahal mo sa buhay, ‘di na muling maririnig

Pagkat sa aking tiyan

Sila ay nahihimbing.

Aa

tila si florante

lahat ay hahamakin

ngunit sa ating pananaghoy

ito nga ba'y pag-ibig?

ating kapalaran

di alam kung iginuhit

o sadyang napaglaruan lamang

nang mga nasa langit.

o kapangahasan, ikaw ba'y naniningil?
ba't naman ganito ang mga pangyayari

kami'y abang bihag lang nang pagmamahal

kailanagan ba gantimpalaan ng pighati?

adik

Kasama nang isang malaking buntong hininga

Ay talilikuran kita;

Oo nga't mga gabi nati'y naging masaya

Dulot naman nito'y nagbabadyang sakuna.

Kasama nang isang malaking buntong hininga

Ay tatahimik muna ako;

Ayaw nang gulo, iwas sa atraso

Itutuwid ko ang buhay ko.

Kasama nang isang malaking buntong hininga

Ay isang mas malaking ngiti;

Masakit man ang lahat nang ngayon

Tatawanan rin ito bandang huli.

..and no, this is not sentence construction 101

Trike. I was on a trike. I was on a green trike. I was on a green trike and the streets were flooded. Even the water was green. Eew. I was on a green trike and the streets were flooded with green water. Eew. Eew. Eew.

Eew.

Landline. I called. I called you. When I was on the green trike I called you. When I was on the green trike treading the green water I called you using our landline. When I was on the green trike treading on the green water I called you using our landline and we talked. Talk. We talked. We talked when I called you. We talked when I called you using our landline. And you should be happy. Happy. You should be happy. You should be happy cause we talked. You should be happy cause we talked after I called you. You should be happy cause we talked after I called you using our landline when I was on the green trike treading on the green water.

But no.

Left. You left me. You left me while we were talking. You left me while we were talking after I called you. You left me when we were talking after I called you using our landline. But before that I got off the trike that’s green that treaded on the green water. Then you left me. That was after I got off the green trike from where we talked after I called you using our landline. Anger. I felt anger. I felt anger when you left me. I was angry after you left me. I was angry after you left me when we were talking. I was angry cause you left me when we were talking after I called you. I was using our landline then.

Explain. You explained. You were explaining. You were explaining why you left me after I called you. You were explaining why you left me while we were talking after I called you and after I got off the green trike that treaded the green water. Call wait stuff. “And besides, I came back. Am here now.”, your ingenious additional reply. That’s not the issue. And wait, do I even believe you? You were explaining why you left me while we were talking after I called you using our landline and after I got off the green trike that treaded the green water when someone knocked on and opened the door then the lights and said,

“Almusal na. Bangon na diyan.”

and yet another weird dream

I had to borrow one kiao from my ex just to buy your meds. Dirt poor? Maybe. I have no idea. I've got nowhere else to run to for the money. Besides who would hand me such amount in a hold-up-like manner? All I wanted at that time was for you to be ok. I think up to this second that's all I want. You to be ok.

Last night you were sick again, although last night was different. Same heart condition, but what happened was different. I think it was.

We were in some forgotten alley in QC, around 5pm if I'm not mistaken. Usual dusky mood. We got to talk this time and I don't know what your ailment got to do with this. My future? You were always concerned with what would happen to me. What should happen to me. I think it's only then that I've realized how much I miss it when you say, "When we're together we'll be..". I used to hate that, but last night I was just sparkly-eyed. I can't remember a single word you said though.

Thoughts were swimming. I'm really planning to stay with you. Us to be together. As in for good. Am only 22 and I've got much more to learn. I know there's too much emotion - what I've said - and logic should be involved but like what I've told you earlier, I know what I want. You know me. I stand by my decisions. In a nutshell I love you and I want you to be mine. As in for good.

Did I just make these thoughts talk? In drunk-like fashion? Again?

"Be careful for what you wish for, it might come true." was all I heard from you. Oh yeah. That's exactly what I wanted to hear from you at that very moment.

I don't know what's happening with us and I don't want to talk like I just came home from Taking Back Sunday's gig. You know how praning I can get.

Dumb founded. I just stared at my bowl and continued to eat in silence. I dunno where the bowl of rice with corned beef came from. It was cold but tasted good when we mashed spiders in it. With it. Whatever.

In case you ask, I forgot what you were wearing, so.. No. You can't tell me "hey, that's what I'm wearing right now" and yes, everything's still blurred.

Well I know it's kind of late, I hope I didn't wake you..