Of MAJAM Jazz Trio and Sky Lanterns

Since the movie Tangled, I've been dazed by sky lanterns. I feel like a gamo gamo, mystified by such sight. And since then, I've occupied myself with researching on how I could get my hands (or eyes) on these pretty little things. Either I go to Thailand in November, for the Yi Peng festival, or buy ready made sky lanterns online.

Or we can make some. Saw this on the almighty web.

How to Make Paper Lanterns

Reg and Cor, up for a project?

On the other side of myself, here's the most awesome version
of Bahay Kubo ever.

(That's my tito on bass, I just had to say.)

right here, right now

two things:

1. I wish someone could bring me some takoyaki from Kozui
2. I miss Kelvin Yan

xxo from putopau with love

qc earthquake

2:32 AM I felt my second earthquake for this year. I'm guessing it's something like intensity 4 or 5. Thought it was just having another vertigo episode. ok we have to evacuate now bye

The last time

I had a cray whim and said that, "I want to be someone famous", Je told me that I should "write something".

Now that i want to go to the broadway centrum to watch Eat Bulaga live and Je is no longer around.. What do i do?

the things you'd realize after cinemalaya cinco

i know, i know. the festival is not yet over.

1. ayaw mong mabuang. talagang ayaw. lalo 'pag conscious ka na baliw ka. effort, man. efffffort.

2. pwedeng i-justify na hindi ka baliw. disturbed ka lang, kamo.

3. ang anthurium ay phallic symbol.

4. importante ang musical score. as in. make or break.

5. 'pag tumalon ka mula sa isang mataas na mataas na lugar dahil ayaw mong marinig ang mga boses sa ulo mo / bumubulong sa'yo, sila lang ang masasaktan / mamamatay. ikaw? ha. hindi ka yata weak.

6. hindi ka weak.

7. kapag nababaliw ka na talaga at itinanggi mo, dalawa lang un:
a. delusional ka
b. denial phase na ito

8. pwede kang magkaro'n ng fans DAHIL (oo, DAHIL at hindi KAHIT) pangit ka.

9. walang dating ang salitang "loser" kumpara sa tagalog counterpart (supposedly) nito na "wala ka pala eh!".

10. rockstar na rockstar ang dating mo kapag bingi ang fan mo.

11. ang piano ay parang ipis. kahit ilang bomba ang sumabog at kahit ilang kamikaze ang dumaan, nananatili itong buhay at buo. yes, buhay ang piano. buhay siya. at nasa tono, take note.

12. ang pagiging diplomatic at pagiging balimbing ay, well, magkaiba.

13. kailangan convincing ang intonation mo kapag sinabi mong, "ay-hab-a-brayt-aidiea!"

14. kailangan naka-pila ka na sa ticketing booth AT LEAST two hours before the show. dahil pag malapit ba ang turn mo para makabili ng ticket eh biglang magc-crash ang pc at kailangan mo tumakbo papunta sa kabilang ticket booth na nasa kabilang palapag. syempre hindi ka lang mag-isa tatakbo. maka-stampede ba. na parang si ping medina ang pinipilahan.

15. malaki ang tulong ng student id. lalo pag pinagkakakitaan mo si kimpot rockstar. (apir sam) (katrine buti may student id ka) 50 pesos per show.

16. malaking tulong rin ang hand dryer 'pag galing ka sa dream theater. pwede pala itong thawing device (see. innovation.)

17. kahit hindi makatarungan ang kalahating styrofoam cup na kape na 60 pesos ay mapabibili ka. take note ulit: equal ang sweetener.

18. pare-pareho nga kayo ng takbo ng utak ng mga kaibigan mo mula sa nakaraan (think grade school and high school). parang biglang may mini reunion sa ccp. na hindi planado. ang kulit rin kasi sa credits mo na nakikita ung iba. wow. parang binaliktad na schadenfreude.

19. cheesy pero totoo. ang sarap ng may mga kaibigan. lalo pag kasama mo sila.

quarter life crisis - it's not a curse, it's an offer!

lagi kong sinasabi na hindi naman kailangan ng ibang tao para maging masaya ang isang tao. pero pwede pala na ang kawalan ng isang tao ang maging dahilan para agawin ang kasiyahan sa'yo.

wala pa namang anim na buwan para sabihin na depressed ako. pakiramdam ko suicidal ako pero hindi pa naman siguro. kaya mas nakukumbinsi ako na ganun na nga, kasi dine-deny ko. (ayaw ko sanang sabihin un pero para makumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na hindi ako suicidal, ilalagay ko. para poser ang dating ko) sabi ng kaibigan ko, wag daw ako makinig sa depressing music. ung mga kanta na nagpapasaya sakin dati, ayun, pinaiiyak ako ngayon kasi naaalala ko ung masasayang oras. negated ang plano. sabi niya rin, kumain daw ako ng maraming tsokolate habang hinihimay kung bakit ko gusto mag-suicide. ang sakit na ng ipin ko pero wala pa rin yatang serotonin ang katawan ko. ayaw ko pating maging mataba sa huling oras ng buhay ko. pwede ba. sabi niya rin, pag narealize ko na ang lahat ng dahilan (na alam ko naman, in the first place), i-contradict ko daw. ginawa ko naman. pero mas napaniwala ko ung sarili ko na hindi ako masaya. ai ewan.

alam ko mahal magpatingin sa psychiatrist. ipamamana ko na lang ung pera ko que sa makinig sa mga may catatonia.

Part 2

masarap mag-mahal. hindi masarap masaktan. mahirap malungkot. mahirap maka-miss ng tao. mahirap umiyak sa bus station habang inihahatid.mas mahirap umiyak habang nagbibilang ng mga huling oras na magkasama kayo. mahirap din mag-abang sa susunod na oras na magkakasama kayo na hindi mo naman talaga alam kung kailan. mahirap pag hindi mo alam kung mahal ka pa rin niya. o nagbabalak na siyang ipagpalit ka.

hindi naman ako teenager para magkaganito. ano ba yan.

ang masarap kainin ngayon ay

bukas.

xxx

i miss you and it feels terrible when i don't get to talk to you and it feels worse when there's nothing i can do.

i've read somewhere that love is an outrage, transformation, hallucination, and madness.

i guess right now i'm outraged, transformed, hallucinating, and mad.

screw everyone

yun lang.

ack.

I don’t know which would be more frustrating – not remembering anything or trying to bring back memories? Of course both in futility.

I think I’m scared of growing old because it’ll take me much farther from memories. I think I’ll hate it when I have to eat up my words about “regrets are just a waste of time”. I think I’ll hate it too when time comes that I have to use the phrase “those were the days”. To point out the obvious, what’s more frustrating is that try as you may, there’s absolutely no way to make those memories neither alive nor back. Funny how happy thoughts can make one sad.

That can be the same reason why I’m scared of having Alzheimer’s.

Disclaimer: All these marriages and deaths and birthdays and the Velvet Dream Pop album induced these thoughts.

This is

one of those mornings when I don't feel like talking but have a lot to say. Can't construct the sentences, things just flowing out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

kill the mood swings

These mood swings are killing me. Been having it since I have no idea when, but the past few days had been pretty awful (wow, pretty and awful). Can't even write about things - the second an idea comes, half of my crammed brain contradicts the other half. A dialogue on it's own and I'm not even part of it.

Madness.

langdetan

I just noticed something. People rant when they can't find anything to talk about - they find things to complain about. We find things to complain about. Is that even healthy?

People seem to have a habit of whining.

Does the grumbling kind actually assume that their thoughts are more profound than the thoughts of a sunny-ly dispositioned person?

Terrible. Terrible.

several hours before thanksgiving day

Ang kulit kanina. Ang galing galing ko talaga kahit kailan. I have this friend who's working in Canada, and I take every chance that I get to email her. Ang kulit lang kanina, was supposed to tell her na, "Ang sarap siguro umuwi ngayon at yakapin ang unan. Haay." Ranting from some kid na gusto nang matulog. Tantrums galore. Ang kulit lang na muntik ko na iyon masabi sa isang tao na halos isang dekada nang nagtatrabaho sa abroad.

Sakto, panahon pa nang Pasko. Mga emsoyon nang tao, sumasabay sa pag-nipis ng hangin.Ang sakit siguro nung mga salitang un para sa kaniya. Frustrating, ika nga. Dahil kung nagkataon man na gaya niya ako na toyooin, kahit anong tantrums eh hindi siya makauuwi ka'gad dito sa Pinas.

Kung ako nga na unan lang ang mayakap, masaya na, pa'no pa kaya ung sabik sa yakap ng mga anak? Siguro kung pwedeng ipagpalit sa plane ticket ang kasabikan niyang makauwi dito at maka-sama ung pamilya niya, naka-ilang round trip na siya.

Sabi ko nga magpa-pasko na.

kailan mas gumagana ang isip ng tao,

pag gutom o pag busog?

writer's block..

..rin ba ang tawag kung bago ka humarap sa MS Word eh flooded ka ng ideas sabay pag click mo sa "new" eh biglang ung thoughts mo ung na-flood, as in washed away?

Ugh.

insufferable

Talks most intimate begin with unvoiced conversations. The soul lingers for the most soothing absence of voice. You sense. You hear best when there's not much to be filtered. You just hear. You just understand. You kill talking skills. You listen. The mouth shuts and everything just begins to work. Undivided attention to every moment, every word, every sound.

No interruptions. No scripts.

You go for gut feel.

fame

Me: whatever Friend

Me: :))

Friend: =))

Me: Friend

Friend: yup

Me: i want to be someone famous

Me: :))

Friend: ngik

Friend: demanda mo si gloria

Friend: ;))

Me: over-rated

Me: other suggestions?

Me: :))

Me: basta i want to be someone famous

Friend: e di si raul gonzales

Me: no idea pa kung saan or how

Friend: hehehe

Me: :))

Friend: write a book ;)

Me: sasabihin ko dapat, "you're not taking me seriously"

Me: :D

Friend: ngik

Friend: i just did, didnt i

Me: :D

Me: i suddenly felt excited again

Friend: :D


**

Yes. I want to be someone famous.

I want to have fans, that sort of drama.

Hahaha.

I actually mean it.

lg question of the night

What's the difference between TRUE and REAL?

dogma

Why is it so hard to break from routines?

It's hard to let go of things that you've gotten used to. That's why it's hard when people leave. That's the reason why break-ups are so harsh. That's the reason why you miss places you've spent three days and two nights on. That's the same reason for addiction. That's the exact, same reason why it's sad when telenovelas end.

It's hard to miss things. It's hard to let go of comfort.