..and no, this is not sentence construction 101

Trike. I was on a trike. I was on a green trike. I was on a green trike and the streets were flooded. Even the water was green. Eew. I was on a green trike and the streets were flooded with green water. Eew. Eew. Eew.

Eew.

Landline. I called. I called you. When I was on the green trike I called you. When I was on the green trike treading the green water I called you using our landline. When I was on the green trike treading on the green water I called you using our landline and we talked. Talk. We talked. We talked when I called you. We talked when I called you using our landline. And you should be happy. Happy. You should be happy. You should be happy cause we talked. You should be happy cause we talked after I called you. You should be happy cause we talked after I called you using our landline when I was on the green trike treading on the green water.

But no.

Left. You left me. You left me while we were talking. You left me while we were talking after I called you. You left me when we were talking after I called you using our landline. But before that I got off the trike that’s green that treaded on the green water. Then you left me. That was after I got off the green trike from where we talked after I called you using our landline. Anger. I felt anger. I felt anger when you left me. I was angry after you left me. I was angry after you left me when we were talking. I was angry cause you left me when we were talking after I called you. I was using our landline then.

Explain. You explained. You were explaining. You were explaining why you left me after I called you. You were explaining why you left me while we were talking after I called you and after I got off the green trike that treaded the green water. Call wait stuff. “And besides, I came back. Am here now.”, your ingenious additional reply. That’s not the issue. And wait, do I even believe you? You were explaining why you left me while we were talking after I called you using our landline and after I got off the green trike that treaded the green water when someone knocked on and opened the door then the lights and said,

“Almusal na. Bangon na diyan.”

and yet another weird dream

I had to borrow one kiao from my ex just to buy your meds. Dirt poor? Maybe. I have no idea. I've got nowhere else to run to for the money. Besides who would hand me such amount in a hold-up-like manner? All I wanted at that time was for you to be ok. I think up to this second that's all I want. You to be ok.

Last night you were sick again, although last night was different. Same heart condition, but what happened was different. I think it was.

We were in some forgotten alley in QC, around 5pm if I'm not mistaken. Usual dusky mood. We got to talk this time and I don't know what your ailment got to do with this. My future? You were always concerned with what would happen to me. What should happen to me. I think it's only then that I've realized how much I miss it when you say, "When we're together we'll be..". I used to hate that, but last night I was just sparkly-eyed. I can't remember a single word you said though.

Thoughts were swimming. I'm really planning to stay with you. Us to be together. As in for good. Am only 22 and I've got much more to learn. I know there's too much emotion - what I've said - and logic should be involved but like what I've told you earlier, I know what I want. You know me. I stand by my decisions. In a nutshell I love you and I want you to be mine. As in for good.

Did I just make these thoughts talk? In drunk-like fashion? Again?

"Be careful for what you wish for, it might come true." was all I heard from you. Oh yeah. That's exactly what I wanted to hear from you at that very moment.

I don't know what's happening with us and I don't want to talk like I just came home from Taking Back Sunday's gig. You know how praning I can get.

Dumb founded. I just stared at my bowl and continued to eat in silence. I dunno where the bowl of rice with corned beef came from. It was cold but tasted good when we mashed spiders in it. With it. Whatever.

In case you ask, I forgot what you were wearing, so.. No. You can't tell me "hey, that's what I'm wearing right now" and yes, everything's still blurred.

Well I know it's kind of late, I hope I didn't wake you..

katrina

swell. i was looking for pictures of you. trying to remember you. trying to recall how you were when you were still.. trying to see how you looked like with that heavy make-up. is that a blue sequined gown? oh god. what the..

trying to picture you on that glassed thing. can we see your whole body? or would it be just the upper half? why not make it the lower half? mahogany? narra? brass? is that your choice of urn? classy. jade. nice. nice.

wait. why am i so moved with your funeral? and what is this bed sheet doing here?

oh.

day 6

Shadows. Lots and lots of shadows. Chasing. One by one chasing. Haunting.

I want some water.

Nightmares. Can't go back to sleep. Scared.

Lots of dogs, wanting and waiting to rip my body; several street kids who look like Japanese dolls, asking for things inside my pocket - as if they know everything in there; several old trees that resemble those from Alice in Wonderland; and some white "gas" that looks like some twisted wire, like those that bind your spring notebooks, ready to take over my body.