cornflake girl

Hey there Big Guy,

I know I've been a big disappointment. I’ve always been.

You see, I often try to be with You, but more often than not I seem to get lost along the way. I was a half-sheep (if a cooked one, medium rare). Only stupid and dull and not exactly obedient.

You know what I think I am? Some voodoo doll of yours who’s trying oh-so-hard to get out of the story. Someone who’s desperately trying to be smart and someone who has the delusion of being brilliant. Yes, I perceive You as reality, and You’re the only Someone whom I perceive as reality for that matter, but the thing is, I seem to love my imaginary world where I seem to take control of things. And right now, everything’s just a mess. It’s like the morning after one big party with nicotine and alcohol and balloons and all.

I think it’s very funny of You to give me this gift of messing my self and things up.

It looks like I’ve slipped somewhere again.

And right now, I guess I’m still under coma - between the party and the morning after. I don’t know what to do. No, I know what to do but the thing is, I can’t wake-up. I don’t know if I’m ready to wake up. I don’t even know if I want to wake up right now. I’m paralyzed. And I’m sorry.

things are getting kind of gross
and i go at sleepy time
this is not really happening
you bet your life it is
Tori Amos